Dumbledore's Bonding Activity
by veeeron
Summary: What happens when Dumbledore summons Ron, Snape, and Lord Voldemort to play a little bonding game of Truth or Dare? Is it possibly the dumbest and most dangerous idea ever? Read to find out! :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any of this :'(**

**Author's Note: So I got this idea from one of those "Name 12 Harry Potter Characters" things where you put them by number in all sorts of scenarios (an example is on my profile), and somehow Ron, Dumbledore, Voldemort, and Snape ended up playing Truth or Dare. Enjoy! **

Ron walked down the dimly lit hallway to the headmaster's office, the paintings on the walls leering at him in a mocking way as they looked at _all_ the unfortunate students going to the headmaster's office for trouble.

"Oi, sod off!" he said to a portrait of a burly knight laughing at the sight of Ron trying to shake off the taunts of the other paintings. The knight's face resumed its original proud, stone-cold expression.

Ron finally came to the gargoyle at the end of the hall.

"Password," the gargoyle growled. "Hey, you're another one of them Weasleys, aren't you?"

Ron scowled at the smirk on the gargoyle's face. "Mandragora," he said.

"You _are _a Weasley kid, aren't you? Fine, all right," the gargoyle grumbled, opening up to reveal a spiral staircase.

"Weasley…"

"OI!" Ron shouted as he walked up the stairs. He knocked on the door.

"Come in, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said from inside. Ron opened the door to see him sitting at his desk. Ron did not like whom he saw sitting across from him.

Snape. Glaring at him malevolently.

"Bloody… I didn't do anything, I swear!" Ron cried. "I… I got a Troll the other day on my Calming Drought, but…"

"Now, now, calm down. You haven't been brought here for trouble," Dumbledore said, a soft smile on his face.

Ron didn't know what to say.

"Sit," Dumbledore said, conjuring a chair next to Snape. Ron slinked over to the chair, careful not to get within smacking distance of Snape.

"Professor, what's going on?" Ron trembled.

"I believe we're waiting for one more…" Dumbledore mumbled to himself.

"Whom may that be?" asked Snape. Ron looked at Snape, seeing he was just as confused as he was. Scared, not so much.

Suddenly a man was being propelled out of the fireplace. He was dressed all in black, and Ron's eyes widened at the sight of a pale, bald head.

"AHHH!" Ron scrambled out of his chair and towards the door. Snape's eyes widened in surprise, and he, too, wanted to make an escape.

"It's… It's…"

"Mr. Weasley, come back. He won't hurt you," Dumbledore said calmly.

Ron stopped in horror as he watched Lord Voldemort stand up to his full height, dusting off his robes from the soot of the fireplace.

**A/N: Review! Question suggestions would be awesome, too! This should be updated pretty regularly, it's not going to be too long of a story. But it'll be great **


	2. Dare

**Disclaimer: Don't own= don't sue.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the favorites and story alerts on this story, you guys are all awesome! Keep reading and send me some suggestions for truth or dare questions; I haven't gotten any yet. Oh, and also check out my other stories, 100 Doors, and Adventures of the Normality Impaired (on me and my friend's account Don'tGetSchwinned) **

Ron trembled on the floor, trying to find the doorknob while making sure Lord Voldemort wasn't about to fire a killing curse. The door was locked.

_"Alo… Alohomora! Alohomora!"_ Ron stuttered. The door was not unlocking.

"Mr. Weasley!" Dumbledore boomed. If Ron hadn't been in trouble, he sure was now. Ron stopped in his tracks and stared at Dumbledore, wide-eyed.

"Come and sit. Lord Voldemort is at peace right now, he and I have made an Unbreakable Vow," Dumbledore explained.

Ron sighed in relief. He slowly made his way back to his chair, avoiding Lord Voldemort's gaze in fear like he were a basilisk.

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley."

Ron nodded. He kept a firm grip around his wand in his pocket, just in case. This could be the chance Lord Voldemort was waiting for; maybe he invented some sort of magic to make an Unbreakable Vow so he could break it without dying, or maybe-

"Now, I have gathered the four of us here today, and while I am quite aware that most of us do not get along, I am hoping that this little bonding activity will help us overcome our differences," Dumbledore said.

Bonding activity?

"Bonding activity?" Ron, Snape, and Voldemort asked simultaneously.

"Yes, a bonding activity. I am hoping that if each main force in the wizard world, the good, evil, and children, allow themselves to learn a little bit about each other and bond over a simple game, we might understand each force better and unite as one."

Voldemort looked quizzical. Ron was still horrified. And Snape's face bore no expression whatsoever.

"What is the game, Albus?" Snape asked.

"It's… It's a Muggle game, if none of you object. It's called Truth or Dare," Dumbledore said.

Ron's eyes widened. He, Harry, and Hermione had played Truth or Dare before, forced into it by Lavender Brown. He hadn't liked it one bit on account of its violating nature, and Ron knew that Dumbledore, Snape, and Voldemort were all skilled Leglimens.

Snape's eyed widened, as well. He had played it with Lily once as a child, Lily and her Muggle girlfriends. It had been a violating experience. He was grateful for his talent at Occlumency.

Voldemort had never heard of it before. "Let's play," he said with a genuine, uncharacteristic smile on his face.

"All right, then. The rules are that-"

"We know," Ron and Snape said at the same time.

"Okay, then. Just to be sure, I bought the game from a Muggle toy store over the summer holidays," Dumbledore said, pulling a pink box out of his desk drawer. He opened the box. "Go ahead, Mr. Weasley. Pick someone."

Ron instantly picked Dumbledore, too terror-stricken to pick Snape or Voldemort. For all he knew, they could do anything to him. "Erm… Truth or Dare?" he asked hesitantly.

"Dare," said Dumbledore confidently.

Ron timidly picked up a Dare card and read it. "Allow yourself to be given a makeover while the other person is blindfolded. Leave it on for the rest of the game," he said apprehensively, trying not to laugh.

"All right, then," Dumbledore said, conjuring up a smile pile of women's makeup in rather obscene colors. And a blindfold.

"Me…?" Ron asked.

"By all means," Dumbledore said, handing him the blindfold. Ron put it on, feeling that this was more of a dare for him rather than Dumbledore.

Ron reached for the makeup, listening to the snickers of Snape and Voldemort. He grabbed what felt like a brush and jabbed it into the powder. He applied it to Dumbledore's face repeatedly, although he wasn't sure quite where. He used several different colors, and then fingered the tube of lipstick. He opened it and smeared it in a lip-shape, knowing that he was probably wrong. Snape and Voldemort's snickers grew louder.

"I'm… I'm done, sir," Ron said, taking off the blindfold. He grew wide-eyed at the sight.

Dumbledore's face was a multitude of different colors, extremely bright and everywhere except on his eyes. The lipstick was not anywhere near his mouth; Ron had applied it in an oval on his forehead. Ron tried to stifle his laughter.

Dumbledore conjured up a mirror. He looked into it and burst out laughing. Snape and Voldemort roared with laughter, laughter that Ron had never and never thought he would hear. Feeling that it was quite all right to laugh, he himself burst into a fit of laughter, thinking that this game might not be so bad after all.

**A/N: Like? Review pleeeease! **


	3. The Texas Wedgie

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned all this, but I don't. :'(**

**A/N: Hope you like it! I still have yet to get a review; so don't be afraid to give me one!**

Dumbledore admired his horrific makeover in the mirror with an amused smile on his face. "Must I keep this on until the end of the game?"

Ron nodded, remembering what the card had said.

"Looks as though it's my turn," Dumbledore mused. "Severus, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," Snape said hurriedly. Dumbledore picked up a card. Snape inwardly decided to go with dares every turn for fear that a truth would reveal some dark secret. He didn't care how embarrassing the dares would be. He could always obliviate Weasley.

"Call your crush and anonymously tell them you like them," Dumbledore said, puzzled.

Ron burst out laughing. Snape, calling up his "crush" on a Muggle telephone?

"Ahem… Er… What?" Snape asked.

"Yes, I am afraid I don't know what this means, either," Dumbledore mumbled. Ron was silently laughing to himself. Voldemort set his eyes on Ron, and although the look was not menacing at all, just the fact that his eyes were set on Ron was enough to make him stop laughing. Forever.

Dumbledore picked up another Dare card. "Receive a wedgie from the person on your right."

Snape's eyes bugged out. "A wedgie, sir?"

"Do you know of these 'wedgies'?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape thought for a moment. He could say no, but the next dare could be worse. And yes, he did know what a wedgie was, but he wasn't looking forward to receiving one from Lord Voldemort, although he could probably say that he was the only person that would ever be able to admit to being given a wedgie by the darkest wizard of all time.

"Yes, sir," he said.

"Ahem, since I am on your right, I must know what a wedgie is, too…" Voldemort said.

"Well, you reach into someone's pants and pull their underwear over their head," said Ron with a laugh. There was no way Snape was going to get out of this game un-humiliated, and Ron wanted to see it. It was time for sweet revenge.

Snape glared at Ron. Voldemort had a rather disgusted look on his noseless face.

"That seems a little… barbaric," he said.

"Ah, but you must do it! Remember, this is a bonding activity," Dumbledore said. "Stand up, Severus."

Snape stood up, as did Voldemort.

Ron wished everyone could see this. He smirked in amusement as he watched Lord Voldemort, of all people, disgustedly reach into Snape's pants for his underwear. He used only the tips of his first finger and his thumb to pull up Snape's underwear. He then clenched both of his fists around the waistband and pulled them upward with all his might. And they indeed went over Snape's head.

The expression on Snape's face was priceless. He looked as if he had been sucking on sour lemons until Voldemort had yanked on his underwear, then he let out a shriek similar to that of a little girl.

Ron and Dumbledore both doubled over in laughter. Ron's face turned a bright, scarlet red, but his face was pale in comparison to Snape. Snape's face was the color of a tomato, with an expression to match. He and Voldemort awkwardly sat down as Snape picked the wedgie.

Yes, he would definitely be obliviating Weasley, he thought as his underpants slowly retained their initial position.

**A/N: REVIEW!:)**


	4. Chubby Bunny

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, however, the rights would make a great Christmas present. **

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, but thanks for all the favorites! You know you want to click that button!**

Ron had never been this scared in his life. He knew, he just _knew _that Voldemort would pick him.

"Tom, go ahead," said Dumbledore calmly. Voldemort gave him a look of deep disdain for calling him Tom.

"Hm…" Voldemort mused in his cold voice. "You, with the red hair… You're a Weasley, aren't you?"

Ron's eyes widened. He nodded right away. "Ron," he said his name, then thinking that it might not have been the right thing to do.

"Truth or dare?"

"Ah… Um… Dare," he squeaked, his hands shaking. Voldemort picked up a card with his ghostly white hands.

"Have a contest with the person on your right. Going back and forth, whomever can fit the most marshmallows in their mouth and say 'Chubby Bunny' is the winner," Voldemort read.

Ron looked at Snape. "Okay…"

Dumbledore conjured a bag of marshmallows and gave them to Ron. Ron opened the bag.

"Ready, sir?" Ron asked. Snape looked at him with deep dislike.

"And what do I say?"

"Um, 'Chubby Bunny'," Ron said. Hermione had shown him the game ages ago during first year.

"Chubby Bunny?" Snape asked skeptically. Ron nodded and handed Snape a marshmallow.

Ron put one in his mouth, as did Snape.

"Chubby Bunny," they each repeated.

Ron and Snape kept adding marshmallows to their mouths, repeating the words. Voldemort sat and watched with a highly amused look on his face, for he didn't realize that speaking would get harder as they added marshmallows.

"Chubby Bunny" went from correct pronunciation to "Uuuey Uueyy". Dumbledore and Voldemort were both laughing at Ron and Snape, whose cheeks were both stuffed with marshmallows about five times beyond normal size.

As the seventh round came, they each added one more marshmallow.

"Uuuey Uuuuey," Ron said, staring down Snape with his game face on.

"Uu-" Snape started. He stopped as all the marshmallows came sliding out of his mouth onto the floor.

"Aaaaaaaaaa!" Ron shouted victoriously, mouth still full of marshmallows. He picked up the garbage can next to Dumbledore's desk and spit out his marshmallows.

"I won!" he exclaimed. Snape glared at him, taking the garbage can and cleaning up his marshmallows.

Dumbledore and Voldemort cheered for Ron, leaving Snape with a defeated look on his face as he cleaned up the marshmallows.

Even though it was only a game of Chubby Bunny, Ron would cherish this moment of victory against Snape forever.

**A/N: This might not have been as funny as the other ones, but… Review! Btw, next chapter should be up pretty soon. **


	5. Telling the Truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait again, I really just haven't had any time or ambition to upload anything… **

"Severus, your turn," Dumbledore smiled. Snape, with an air of defeat eyed the Weasley.

"Truth or dare?" he growled.

Ron's eyes widened. "Truth. Wait- no, dare! I meant dare!"

"Truth it is," Snape said silkily.

"No, sir, I meant dare!" Ron would rather eat slugs than reveal personal information with any of the three adults in his presence. Especially, well… Voldemort.

Snape ignored him and picked up a Truth card. Ron sighed in defeat.

He read the card, a smirk appearing on his face. "Out of all the people in this room, who would be the worst person to be trapped in an elevator with?"

Ron turned a shade of red. "Um…" he stuttered, not wanting to say anything.

"Spit it out, Weasley," Snape said, his voice revealing that his pride was still hurt.

"Uh…" he looked at Voldemort. "I… I hope you don't take offense, Mr. You- I mean, Vol- I mean, sir… but…"

Voldemort's eyes locked with Ron's.

"… It… It would have to be… you know…"

Voldemort shook his head and held up his hand. "None taken. I understand completely."

"Oh- okay…" Ron's eyes darted away. "Thanks…"

"Mr. Weasley, it's your turn. Pick someone."

Ron picked Professor Dumbledore again for safety. Maybe, later on, if this "bonding activity" really worked, he would pick one of the other two wizards.

"Truth or dare?" Ron asked pensively.

"Truth," Dumbledore declared freely.

Ron picked a card. "Erm... Who… Who was your first crush?" His ears turned red. He couldn't believe he was asking Albus Dumbledore this, nor did he really want to find out.

"First crush?" Dumbledore asked.

"Uh, it's a Muggle term, sir. It's a person you, you know, like…" Ron explained, hoping he wouldn't have to go any further.

"Hm… The first girl I ever liked… Let's see…" Dumbledore mused.

"This is going to be a _novel_, isn't it?" Snape drawled sarcastically.

"Stories are meant for telling, Severus," Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling. "The first girl I ever had a 'crush' on was Minerva McGonagall," he declared with a smile, proclaiming he had nothing to hide.

Ron, Snape, and Voldemort's eyes widened simultaneously.

"Yes, yes… I remember our first date… We were in school together, same year, and come third year I realized that I was nearly in love with her."

Ron felt like throwing up.

Snape was about to shit bricks.

And Voldemort… Well, let's just say that this was new material.

"In fourth year, I finally asked her out on a date."

Silence.

"And… how did that go, Headmaster?" Snape asked to break the silence.

"It was a complete and utter disaster," Dumbledore spat. "I wore hideous dress robes, not unlike yours during the Yule Ball, Mr. Weasley."

Ron's mouth opened and Snape snickered.

"We were at a small restaurant down in Hogsmeade... The food was late; I kept spilling my food and drink; I couldn't say the right thing- she walked out on me. Right in the middle of the date," Dumbledore said wearily.

No one quite knew what to say.

Snape once again broke the silence. "Is that… all?"

Dumbledore snapped right back into his usual pleasant mood. "No, not at all, dear boy. I went back to the castle, and being the rash Gryffindor students we were, we went down into the dungeons and had-"

"Stop!" the three wizards exclaimed, right before he could get to details.

Ron didn't care to be disgusted by the details of the affairs of the headmaster, and Snape couldn't believe that they had, well- _done it-_ in the dungeon, which was now his Potions classroom. He would never look at it his classroom the same, and neither would Ron.

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